Swalpa Adjust Maadi…

The Bus was jam-packed…and so was my mind, with pure hatred…I can’t stand my life anymore here…failure is breaking me down, politics is pulling me back, homesickness has become excruciating, DAMN this city, DAMN these people…Replay of “Into The Wild” ran through these gloomy thoughts and I felt like running away…far into the jungles…”Society…You are a crazy breed!!! “

 And then some complex equation coming out of the confusion decided the number of the next bus I’ll take…to Innovative Film City…But that was far away and I had about an hour to my disposal, that too in an uncomfortably crowded bus…Just than an old lady boarded the bus and said “Swalpa Adjust Madi Ma”(Adjust a little)…I squeezed myself further in…So I though even air cant enter the bus now, and I still found the place, lolz…We Indian have a real passion about cooperation when it comes to adjustment…Buses are the best examples…just try to board any state transport bus and you’ll know what I mean…(I wanna check out the mumbai local train next)...

I scanned the old lady, a typical south-ee… grey hair, lot of sindur, small bindi, long tika, mouth red with betel juice, orange white flowers, and a south silk cotton saari…And just then two more aunties entered, with two kids…The old lady stepped back, to give the new comers room…and then requested me again…swalpa adjust maadi ma!!! I could not…so I only pretended to move but they still found their place again...Clearly there was no answer to How’s here…only How I’s finding difficult to answer was…How the hell poor driver is driving and HOW the conductor is giving tickets to passengers…And just when I’s lost in these thoughts, a TC appeared from nowhere and started checking the tickets…Till my turn I can tell, there was no defaulter...I’s impressed…Really…

Pretty small incident people, just daily life…But left me wondering why we refuse to adjust in life while there still remains a lot of room…while we can really cope with situation, why do we complain like- enough is enough and I can’t stand anymore…Why do we crib for friends when we are all alone and cry for some time for ourselves when we are surrounded with group of people we call our friends…What’s that makes us always dissatisfied with everything no matter how fortunate we really are to have it…Why can’t we fiddle a bit with the situations to craft happiness for ourselves…it’s not such a great price anyway… I can see an Accord in the traffic in front of me immediately after writing these lines…They have written “Happiness Reloaded” on the back glass… 

P.S. Had a great time today…Really…its fun to have a date with yourself sometimes… 

Reflections...

“You are religiously and legally ours” … And she started feeling the vibes of change all around her…the sensation of transition, the numbness which happens when you have a zillion thoughts and don’t know which one to single out and think about…

Her beautiful eyes went blank and their reflection in the mirror informed her clearly that sleep won’t come to them for many days to come…Her curly hair started feeling the Bangalore breeze like the most awaited touch…The swing in the balcony garden welcomed her to sway between the past and the future, between old and the new relationships, between apprehensions and anticipations…

Five long years of a successful relationship stood in front of her like a beautiful journey.  A wish that was granted, a dream that came true…She could not ask for more…That “only-a-classmate”, “friend”, “best friend”, “guide”, “special someone”, “boyfriend” was ready to become her “life”…She wondered how meanings can change with time…Once “aunty” was becoming “mummi ji”, once “uncle” wanted her to say “papa ji”...everybody wants to know how she feels but words won’t come to her…people assume she is extremely happy to say anything, but her happiness is not able to sort itself into what to tell whom…Strange but true, she’s not even sure whether HE will be able to understand …This feeling is so HER own…No wonder, nobody else can understand really…

There have been transitions, from prep to school then to college, to a new city, to a new job, new people…but this one is HUGE…Though she knew from like years… she had a perfect mental picture in like a thousand dreams, she knew which color will go with which occasion, what is going to be the guest list, which flower will suit the decorations, and what must-be’s should be there in the menu…she was always ready, all set…But still she feels that time has run extremely fast, that she’s only a kiddo, how can this happen so early…

Like me, she ponders over thoughts and questions, only to conclude that this was destined to happen…for best...And then again, she tries to welcome sleep, in vain…drowning yet again into feelings all sweet…

P.S. Congrats Dear…All the very best for the future ahead…God Bless!!!

P.P.S. Oops! Do I need to mention, this was about a very close friend, getting married soon!!! :)

Being Champions...

It seemed it doesn’t matter at all….whether you actually are a sportsperson or not into it at all, you have office work on Saturdays or have only a blissful strict “5-days-a-week”, you love hanging out with friends on weekends or like to be all alone, relaxing…All eyes were glued to television sets, projectors, sports bars and some multiplex screens…There was no traffic even on Bangalore Roads…I got no calls from 2:30 p.m. till 10:30 in the night :O ….only texts…”Pray India Pray”…”, ”Please ask your friends not to pray for sometime…God is playing”, “Don’t login for some time, www is busy, coz We Want World cup”…or a simple… “Indiaaaa…India”…God actually had no confusion in granting wishes as all 1.21 billion were asking for only one thing…

Sri Lankans were at their best and Jayawardene skillfully lowered the roaring Wankhede stadium to a complete stillness with his brilliant century… and then Malinga threatened to brutally murder the very spirit of the world class batting line-up...But then, we all witnessed the true exemplification of “against-all-odds”, a brilliant game played in the spirit of Winning and a show of extreme courage…The rest is history as they say… 

But that is not all this post is all about. Cricket is religion in this country and we know that. What actually inspires a lazy blog writer like me to do a write-up on a world cup final is the “spirit” element coupled, that rare unison of all assortment, those joint cries of joyfulness when a 4 or 6 was hit or a wicket was taken, that combined disappointment when a delhiite youngster was not able to complete his hundred, those smiles and tears and finally, a deafening roar of victory…

Crazy fans, fanatics and even indifferent apathetic mind-their-own-business-types…nobody could sleep that fortunate night…Diwali, Christmas and Id were celebrated together...People shared and had the moments all sweet…Champagne flew and drowned all doubts of Indians being anything less than Champions. We Won…the World, our Pride, our Unity and a Billion smiles with the cup.

Not to mention, it’s a moment to cherish for a lifetime. Especially I have absolutely nothing to compare it with…of course I wasn’t there when last world cup was won… But I’m sure there still can’t be anything else to compare the victory with…as nothing can change the color of blood…Yes, me too, now BLEED BLUE!!!  :)

Absolute Nonsense!!!

Surprisingly dry Bangalore sky, where it hasn’t rained since very very long…

A pair of RED eyes, revealing the forceful effort to keep them open...strange foul smell…in an elevator of a corporate office…and a guy making a spectacle of himself…

In such a state where not even a single drop has fallen from skies to bring some good, happy thoughts to my mind, I’m mulling over all nonsense…and as a reflex, writing all nonsense…

Here I’m trying to rewrite a story told in pieces … that too, in a state of partial consciousness…

Me and my friends, we were sitting in the cafeteria for the evening snack and tea…And this guy joined in…and started off without a prelude…”Do I look drunk?” And then without waiting for an answer (or rather knowing what would be it…), he continued…”Yaar kal mast kaand ho gaya sacchi!!!” You won’t believe what happened yesterday…Some of my friends beaten up an auto driver….”saala zyada paise maang raha tha ”…And then again, without us asking for details, he continued…”My friends came over and we boozed-up all night long…(As if he specifically needed to mention that particular piece of information)...They were coming all the way from Ooty to my place…in truly high spirits of Lions of our HP…(A great pride in his voice here)...the previous night in Ooty, they were coming back from some pub there , all drunk…They took an auto to come back to their resort…The auto-wala dropped them back and asked for 150 bucks, when the distance was less than 5 kms from the pub to their resort…and then without even arguing with the man, they pulled him out of the auto and then started raining cats and dogs, punches and kicks all over his face…

Poor man started yelling and then some God-fearing-law-abiding-citizen-of-India called up the police…Shocking though, police came over and arrested our mettle MEN when the driver was still having all 206 bones intact… (They still regret the fact though...Maarna tha aur saale ko!!!) And then, without him telling the rest of the story, (His pride on his friends achievement multiplying with every detail of the narrative) I guessed it perfectly right…They formally went to the police station, showed some currency (around 3k), and with due respect, were sent back to the resort, in the same auto!!!

..............................................

This is no story really…this happens every other day…What’s actually disturbing, are the exclamation marked statements made by him at the end of the story…

So then, with an air of vanity, he added…You don’t know these guys yaar!

Their fathers own yards of Apple farms in Himachal!

They just don’t care about money!

Cool life hai yaar! Mast bande hain!

And then, a maniacs ROFL!!!

Not to mention I’s shocked, felt like the judgmental me, the believer of all-right-is-right-and-all-wrong-is-wrong child in me was slapped in face…So this is what people actually look upto when they say they want to GROW and make a STATUS LIVING???...So, its fine, infact pretty cool to get arrested and spend some quality time with cops if you carry the status of getting away...Its okay to get drunk to your fill and then drive back all the way from Ooty to Bangalore, this time without being caught…Cheers!!!

My understanding of the terms in caps was shaken from the base…I felt an insistent need to review my social concepts before claiming to understand my very own surroundings…

I have been trying doing that since then…But I fail myself again and again...I really fail to understand how can it be cool, not being in your senses when nonsense is an offending word…People spend their lives building a reputation and then how can they just let it all go in a speck of a moment of being drunk and ignorant…How can the fundamental rules of civic behavior and gentlemen’s policies change their meanings so easily...

And then as always, I remain stuck in the whirl of questions…and this time, it really seems like forever…

Even as I write this, I know this is no way to retort…only a way to save my soul from the vortex of thoughts…when the meaning of all the wisdom thoughts I learnt with an effort over the years, is challenging an existential crisis…

A Question of Perspective…

World is Round!!! Yes it is… People run after each other in a queues and form circles…Come back to a point from where they started off…Do not understand things about others,  they wanted the whole world to understand about themselves some time back…

A son becomes a father and complains about things he once thought were cool…A daughter becomes a mother and refuses to understand the essence of liberty for her daughter…Once you complaint of not being understood, and then, without even realizing the pain of that, you close the doors of your own understandings…

If you are at the receiving end of something, you stop realizing the fact that it is to be preserved and valued with the same zeal with which it was given…

Once while sitting at the window seat, it was me who said: “I think, we should let go off the things which move in opposite direction, even if it’s only a question of perspective…” … I find this hard to believe today…

Lets Uncomplicate

With blessed fortune of the sky

And these teeny tiny dots,

Far from cruel glare of the sun,

Where the poor minds rot…

Dreamy neurons of my brain,

Getting ready for a fight,

Winning over in my thoughts

On the ones "so-called" bright…

All adamant “Why-Can’t-s”

Suddenly rising their heads

All fearful “What-If-s”

Dormant, as if dead…

……………………………………………………….

Can be faked but can’t be mended

Relations getting sour,

Jealousy and Jeopardy,

Moving through the back door…

All see the times getting worse

But there’s no one to blame

There can only be one

At the top of the game…

What’s driving these waves

Of trusts being betrayed

On the verge of abyss

Like a nightmare replayed…

……………………………………….

Policies of rights and wrongs,

Let’s end this judgmental torrent

Let’s drive a less known road

Let’s be a bit ignorant…

This want of bright warm sunlight,

Let’s just leave it to the fate,

Bathe in tiny drops of light,

LET’S UNCOMPLICATE!!!

P.S. Somehow, I like the idea of being positive these days... :)

My Sunglasses...

The hour of the day is night, and I’m still thinking about sunlight… sharp, focused sunlight…sometime blessing you with coveted coziness in winters and sometimes sweating the hell out of you in summers.

And since all stupid relations between absolutely unrelated things have got a license to come into my thoughts, I’m now thinking about the relation between intensity of sun rays, the sunglasses and how things work in the drama called LIFE!!!

So, all of us have sunglasses, of different shapes and shades, meeting the needs of all sorts of sun-rays… Sharp, bright, blinding or hot… And we wear them to see the world according to what we want to see rather than what the reality is…

Sunglasses teach us to live in a world of hallucinations where filtered sun rays give a soothing effect to eyes, even when they are scorching the rest of the world into blindness…

They help us hide our inflated egos behind them when we know it may burn the thin thread we share with people around us with so much effort …

They help us protect our own self respect from the harmful UV rays of others egos, by providing us with a shield of ignorance…

They help us build pretensions with respect to our repute at workplace, friend circle and relatives, by creating a mirage of self satisfaction, even when the bitter sunlight outside the scope of poor sunglasses is shouting of back-bitching, hatred and jealousy…

They come in all nice colors and hues to make us feel better about ourselves and to make us religiously believe how beautiful a place the world is, and how lucky we are to get a LIFE in it…

I truly truly believe in dramatics. And I’ve already given sufficient evidence to indicate that we can preen our way across the stage of life, with a pair of good sunglasses, clean and happy!!!

P.S: I learnt sometime in school that man hates sunlight and loves moonlight because the former gives a clearer picture of the world around him, while the latter hides a lot under its soothing shade…

P.P.S : I Love my Shades…