Buzzing Backroomz (Goodbye 2011)

I'm beginning to conclude another year guyz… (So is everybody else, I know, but this post is strictly about how I AM going to do it)…

Some of us love Dramatics…the contour of times in a précis…We love the reflections…try to search our own selves in within the narrativez…

I’m a devoted lover of dramatics too…but sometimes, while the protagonist reaches the pinnacle, and the audience’s eyes are glued to the stage, my nomadic mind wanders to the backstage activity…THE taskforcez who are never concerned about whats going on stage…always putting things in order for the subsequent scenes…always FORECASTING, PLANNING, MAPPING ON… 

2011 has been a superamazing year…and this is what I’s doing backstage, every month of 2011, while the next month was brimming with yet another set of hyperactivity…

To begin with, while opposition was hoisting the tricolor jubilantly in its one of many Tiranga Yatras and government was making things more complicated by playing the game of cabinet reshuffle and fighting inflation (their own way),  I was trying to uncomplicate things and in the process ended up confusing myself even more each day…Finally Mr Jairam Ramesh gave me the much needed gyaan of let-it-be when the news of him wanting to demolish Adarsh Towers flashed on my TV screen… Ultimately I couldn’t help but decide that all my doubts were only a question of perspective and thus witnessed IPL auction drama silently…

Then February came and when people of my age were reciting “Love is in the air!!!” All I could hear all around was abuses!!! Gaddafi was calling the foreign media, Dogs, while crushing the pro democratic protests…THE CENSUS counted incompetency of our law makers by counting Ajmal Qasab as one of us… And while my country drowned itself into various scams, Yedurappa declared his assets and spectrum Raja made a scapegoat and finally sent to Jail, all I could say was Absolute Nonsense…

I had no more to say or write while I got too engrossed in speculations made during THE world cup…I forgot everything while we rejoiced as a nation for each successful step toward THE cup of honor…Stopped just to celebrate Women’s Day in new light of being all grown up…

The color of my blood miraculously changed when we finally managed a Lanka Dahan in a match I’ll remember forever and ever and ever…I ignored the news of fake world cup and BCCI saving more than its fair share from IPL parties… Just enjoying the reflections of victory…

Hyperactivity on the world map reached all time new height with THE assassination of Osama and his burial in the great expanse of sea… The cries of Lokpal were just becoming audible and Tata’s were getting new woes by Mamta Di…Like many others, my reaction to the new beginnings was just laughing- off with a suggestion in accordance with Indian situations…Swalpa Adjust Madi guys…Chillax!!!…

Hot waves of June came and I got caught off guard by a new wave of complete transformation as I was literally transported from Bangalore to Pune, in a time which seemed like…milliseconds…Anna Hazare continued as against UPA and I continued being happy about all the change…all going on’s…Gaining confidence by the statements made by all wrong-people-at-wrong-places (PM stating he’s no lame duck) and the news of India beating China in growth soon, I finally stepped firmly on the trail of novel beginnings…

My confidence proved to be awfully short lived as I was struck in awe by the immense money kept to rot in a place of worship and then by the explosion of terror at the city I was planning to visit each passing day of my stay in Pune…Mumbai got robbed off all prospects of peaceful life and my nation, off its self respect…Proving, yet again our existence as insects and the jobs Undone…

As we continued diving deeper in US debt, and while our prince charming started dreaming of THE throne of Indian Politics daily, We, the people joined hands yet again against corruption as our Anna repeated history by paying a visit to THE Jail and rekindled the sense of democracy…and we celebrated, however delusive that carnival may have been…

September proved to be a lone battle for me as it was for Chidambaram and UPA as a whole…for me, it was witnessing black marketing and corruption on personal front…But I proudly won while Acting on my own impulse and then forgot all the pain with the song of the wind…Chidambaram and UPA are still there, trying to fight by all means…Guess who was using fairer means??? :-D

Got summoned up for my recklessness while driving on my two-wheeler in October and then finally concluded that recklessness can definitely be fun at times…Following my example, BJP recalled all reckless people and decided to do a make over for Modi’s image…but when reckless Reddy landed up in jail I got too scared of continuing my reckless behavior as the visibility of my very own future reduced to less than 50 mtrs…

I felt the long forgotten buzz all over again when I visited Mumbai and Band stand and developed a whole new affair with the waves…I decided to decide my reckless take on life all over again as the world called me an extreme case of psychosis…while UPA was blamed of its inability of decision making, I’s enjoying my own settings…When Anna was blogging out, and Pawar was slapped, I was just laughing out my loudest giggles…Cheers!!!

And now, when Anna is getting ready for a fresh new Jail Bharo movement starting from Mumbai and we’re getting ready for reelecting fresh new bloodsuckers to suck the national soul…I’m trying to learn new lessons of Let-it-be…

So like this…Life Goes On….So Do I…and since cherishing good times and forgetting bad ones is always what we are taught, in books, in philosophies and even in FB one liners, I’d say…Goodbye 2011… Loved you…You’ll always remain etched in my memories forever for all the real BIG transformations you’ve done in my life…

So, this is how I (We? Oh Yes, all of us in fact) am beginning to begin a New Year…

Psychosis…

 

You are sensitive!

You are dumb!

Self Obsessed!

m Numb…

You Command

Confuse...

You Mystify…

I (helplessly) succumb…

You come across

get creased

I crumple

so  glum

I wake up

with start

Weird reverie

Kept mum...

Moronic  laughter’s

Smiles sometimes…

Strange melodies

I hum…

At a loose end

m lost

From wrecked Horizons

You come…

I try to cherish

solace
Trouble, your being

become…

A Wavy Affair...

Another swarm of waves…

These ones, somewhat grimy…

Some madness recalled,

Bamboozled and Stymie…

Excusing myself,

Inhaling that charm...

Woozy … just right

No, waves do no harm…

Swept or revived,

Visions and poises…

Just legacy of valor,

No doldrums, No crisis…

Guts of endurance,

All splattered across...

Reckoning my instincts,

That shimmer and gloss...

With hushed drops of wisdom,

A kid so grown witty...

Sprinkled and savored,

First Look Of That City...

P.S. Some cities don’t just live…they celebrate Life :)

Visibility…Less than 50 mtrs…

December Delhi Winter it was…that’s the only clarity I have of that day…

Papa was driving quietly, trying to find our way to Terminal 1D, while I’s answering mummy’s repeated calls to drive safe in those unprecedented dense fogs which break some 70 years record every year…we couldn’t see our own bonnet…There was no time to scold me for not taking into consideration Delhi fogs while booking the tickets…because, for one, I’s leaving and more importantly, Papa had to devout all his attention to drive safely…In spite of my Dad being famous for his knowledge of every patch of Delhi, we lost our way twice… Cursing the famous on-time-service of Indigo, we reached just in time and I hurriedly waved goodbyes to Papa n Bhai…Dunno how, they still announced, with visibility less than 50 mtrs, the 8:55 flight was on time...

. . .
. . .
. . .

Lazy Sunday this is…I try to look all around me…all settled, cleaned and on place…then I tried to look back…eh, so boring…n I’ve done this a million times…so I thought of looking ahead of time…WHAT! Afraid of going mad with inactivity, I just picked some old magazines n began to read...

In crux, it was nothing but a jumble of petulant politicians stating confused statements to defy random corruption charges of some multi millions…Some pictures in bright glossy close up…Mr Chidambaram’s picture occupying the TODAY part of India Today, in deep thoughts…Same magazine’s March cover showing drift between Mr Chidambaram and Mr Pranab Mukherjee…Manmohan Singh Ji’s grave manner, trying to give an unconvincing clean chit to himself, pictures depicting high coalition drama, former former former telecom secretary, governors and other experts statements…subtle uncertainties…And then state news…Illegal Iron ore loot in Goa, series of communal riots in Rajasthan, NC loosing it completely in Kashmir and Telangana statehood demands...Moving on to next section…The opposition…where some hope of actual leadership was rekindling post Sadbhavana Sabha, torn again between inflated egos of mighty egoistic potential leaders who can’t see each other eye to eye…One not attending others rallies n inauguration parties…lost again in in-house battles…hybrids of hubris…bête noire zzz… Sigh!!!

I closed my eyes and again the same stupid thought of looking ahead started wandering all around me…not just related to my own boredom, it was less selfish this time…

With closed eyes, I dreamt that Delhi is engrossed into most dense fogs of the millennium…uncertainty, confusion everywhere…Autocrats running around, confused, on Delhi roads, streets they’ve known all their lives, making a mockery of democracy…Rest of the world moving ahead with their on-time-service…and all of us, whole country…running breathlessly to catch up…Where? Which way? We are losing the sense of direction…Visibility is less than 50 mtrs… 

Summoned up…

Times when it becomes kinda obligatory for you to think that thoughtlessness is bliss and all those who’ve always been telling you smooth-roads-never-make-good-drivers are all fools… And then these rains, which fall outta heavens so straight and swift, directly on your head while you are thinking of a careless cup of hot coffee mixed with some cure of the sneezing cold...

So, the RAINS play some linkin park music on your head, wet your hair in dead cold and immediately reach those wayward nerves in your brain responsible for some weird neural activity which defies the soothing effect of normalized-day-to-day LIFE...act as catalyst to your already strained up mind… and then with those falling drops of greasy slimy age, you think you can feel the wetness of question marks all around you...drenching your very soul...

But then…in midst of all the confusion, the LOGICAL YOU rises up for all the answers and you begin to realize the complementary stuff rains bring with them… you suddenly start relishing the winds...mighty winds...That can blow away the rain clouds in whatever direction they fancy…mighty winds...that can twist and roll the direction of rains…super mighty winds, that can ultimately make you feel better about your wet hair, sweeping them nicely across…

You feel the breeze and drive faster and realize... the faster you go, more swiftly you pass and prevail the hateful traffic jam of neural traumatizations in midst of unhealthy rains…and faster you drive, the more you realize its making you learn driving better… and self control with increased proficiency……now you know there may come rains, however stormy, turbulent and seemingly unsettleable …nothing to worry, you’ve learned to drive safe and chances of a slip are odd... you finally start enjoying the music of the wind rather than the crashes of the lightening and the thunderstorm...

And then, you leave aside all the anxiety and drive faster to reach the balcony breeze, while you sit there all dry, with hot coffee and the blissful peace...warming your soul off the odd effects of rains…

The Song of the Wind…

Initially I thought, its going to be a poem…but its not…and definitely not a microblog or simply a twitter update…nah…its somewhere in between I guess…and in the title, I specifically mean SONG and not melody…A song has the liberty of having many moods to it…while a melody has to be sweet, always (or atleast that how I think it is)…

So, this particular song, over the last weekend was almost certainly melodious to begin with…atleast till the time it was playing on my lips, while I’s flying with my Activa on (almost over and above) Pune roads…reaching every corner, from temples to markets to street vendors of cute junk jewelry  to coffee shops…

Three days of overtly shown and proved liberation they were…that feeling new and fresh…

But then, when has complex minds as human beings, accepted and approved of something as simple as “feel-good is equivalent to happiness”? Every such statement comes with clauses…some hidden, some obviously obvious and some which lead to painful implication to tenses, especially future…We just don’t approve of anything just like that…We have an eerie ability to question everything…let alone those explanations to the rest of the world, your own self stands beside you and starts questioning…and irritating as they may be, but the questions are generally fair and logical…and if you are not in a habit of living in illusions, you find it very difficult to answer them all…

So this time the questions were on very existence, the kinds which hurt the most…So, this is how you think how simple things can be? You, your self, your Activa, your songs, and empty roads and you driving that fast and free and safe too?  Whatta foolish immature thought!

And then those suggestions… Come outta it dear…from the post dusk darkness to the dawning truth…oh the timeline hurts! It may come sooner than you think…when the feel good about yourself disappears, don’t make it the habit that hurts…Dont let a pebble stir the stagnant waters and create waves…generalize things…move slowly with the rest of the world…with publicly accepted terms of living…and then…get going!

I’ve no answers except for one…about the stagnant waters…

If you throw a pebble in stagnant waters, it’ll create waves no doubt…But what if the water is flowing so fast that it doesn’t mind even rolling stones?   

(acting on) Impulse...

Chaos, High Drama,

a bevy of thought,

Odd moments of terror,

barren chambers to rot...

Moments of silence,

moments of screaming,

that moment of trial,

and boiling blood teeming...

Imprudent and stupid,

"Gone Crazy" they thought,

hitherto uncared for,

lone battle was fought...

Illusions and Figments,

probation was feared,

For frolic and disport,

friendships were geared...

Whats learnt is so precious,

from those forlorn battles,

Happy I did it,

acting on that impulse...

P.S. Friends...I love you all really...But, couldn't help this one... :(