My Sunglasses...

The hour of the day is night, and I’m still thinking about sunlight… sharp, focused sunlight…sometime blessing you with coveted coziness in winters and sometimes sweating the hell out of you in summers.

And since all stupid relations between absolutely unrelated things have got a license to come into my thoughts, I’m now thinking about the relation between intensity of sun rays, the sunglasses and how things work in the drama called LIFE!!!

So, all of us have sunglasses, of different shapes and shades, meeting the needs of all sorts of sun-rays… Sharp, bright, blinding or hot… And we wear them to see the world according to what we want to see rather than what the reality is…

Sunglasses teach us to live in a world of hallucinations where filtered sun rays give a soothing effect to eyes, even when they are scorching the rest of the world into blindness…

They help us hide our inflated egos behind them when we know it may burn the thin thread we share with people around us with so much effort …

They help us protect our own self respect from the harmful UV rays of others egos, by providing us with a shield of ignorance…

They help us build pretensions with respect to our repute at workplace, friend circle and relatives, by creating a mirage of self satisfaction, even when the bitter sunlight outside the scope of poor sunglasses is shouting of back-bitching, hatred and jealousy…

They come in all nice colors and hues to make us feel better about ourselves and to make us religiously believe how beautiful a place the world is, and how lucky we are to get a LIFE in it…

I truly truly believe in dramatics. And I’ve already given sufficient evidence to indicate that we can preen our way across the stage of life, with a pair of good sunglasses, clean and happy!!!

P.S: I learnt sometime in school that man hates sunlight and loves moonlight because the former gives a clearer picture of the world around him, while the latter hides a lot under its soothing shade…

P.P.S : I Love my Shades…

A handful of sand...

Earthy and coarse,
so soiling my hand...
Thought finally, I own it
That handful of sand...


That happiness that glee,
the PINK of that blush...
and the Cameo in your skit
and then RED in full flush...


Those colors, all vibrant,
those melodies all sweet...
those dictions all wrong
and the daydreams so fleet...


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I'm watching in distance,
these timewaves and rocks...
shining pure white in bubbles
my silence they mock...


I'm staring the Horizon,
stretched till the end...
and from my hand is still slipping
(Now I know I dint own it)
That handful of sand...




P.S. A "Cameo" is that concept in Dramatics, which I find most interesting...

Some Ravished Memories… (Shrunken petty matters…)

I had to write the title in plural (matter(s), memory(s)), simply because I’ve loads to write and that is simply because of the still pettier chronological issues…(This much of time difference between two consecutive posts doesn’t look good on a blog, that’s why…)…

So, here I go…with what I did/thought over/realized all these days…They are all trifling matters, but recollecting old good toys and memories is fun….isn’t it?

Going Back To Life…

[410, Air Force Station, Jalahalli West, Bengaluru, Karnataka]…Precisely the main gate, in front of an old butter fruit tree, I stood…still…tried to open my mouth to express my happiness, the exultation…but the words won’t come…And that was there too…my sweet old school memories coming back to me personified in Anupama and Durgesh…

I’s loving it…the first flush of same childish innocent smile on our faces, the same carefree loud laughter and the same stupid reviling diction…supplemented( rather complemented) by just two things now…their sincere gesture of greeting (umpteen times more sincere than I expected, really) and Anupama’s beautiful long black hair…

We chatted for hours together, frittering away every sense of difference that has inevitably sprouted between us in due course of five long years when we dint get a chance (dint even care about) to notice our DP’s on orkut/facebook…

…

…

…

But then, all good things come to an end, so did that fortunate day which will remain etched in my memory forever…We needed to summon up before the current realities of our respective life’s where we’ve hardly any space left for school time innocence…and so we bid farewell…

Life goes on…and so we did…

Running…for a cause…

My true true Delhiite cousins and my continuous, non-stop cribbing (to become like them…never say “stop the funnnn…” attitude)…for me being a non-delhiite…(Hmmm…okay, I do belong to NCR, but Delhi is still Delhi…isn’t it?... Whatever you do…you can’t ever have an India Gate (and the ICS(ice-cream sellers) and PCS(pakora chat sellers) in Gurgaon…EVER))…

So, nearly each one of my cousins participated in Airtel Delhi half marathon, in some way or the other…and me…I’s only watching the live telecast…(Okay, frowning…)
That was exactly when I wrote this amazingly accurate prophecy about myself in my diary that someday, I’ll run a marathon too…

And since all shooting stars are not fake and someday dreams do come true if you sincerely believe in them, I finally got this chance to run Sunfeast Bangalore Marathon, Majja Run…

I exactly felt like a cameo and the endeavor was truly worthwhile in spite of having no teleology attached to it…You can get immense dividends of happiness at seemingly petty things…


The trauma of partition...

 I really wanted to write a lot of diary those days to vomit out the turbulence inside me…But I’s absolutely nonplussed to write a single word…and more than that, I never had enough time…

So, the story goes like…We (8 of us, me and my college mates, who were destined to become Accenture mates as well) were living happily in our beloved P.G, occupying 3 rooms of a real nice flat…

People from our respective departments used to call us “lucky to be so united” stuff…(Lolz Lolz Lolz)…

And then, the fate interrupted us rather ruthlessly and we were asked to vacate the P.G…(yes, all 8 of us)…Friendz, and Friendz of Friendz and their Friendz flooded our phone databases with numbers of P.G owners, flat owners and property dealers while showing their grave concerns over our condition calling it as the end of a delightful era for us…

You may well ask for the real consequences, but before that, I’d like to add some real senti, touchy and philosophical stuff to the post…

It was…an era of unpredictable occurrences of predictable proceedings…

Those were…the fateful days when we floated along time, and from P.G’s to flats, from 1BHK’s to 2BHK’s to 3BHK’s, from single occupancy to double and triple sharing rooms, and from kundanhalli to karamangala…

 It was the time when all our plans (of leaving the “then roomies” and choosing “better (???)Ones”) seemed to have betrayed our own selves…

That was…the time of constant state of evolution and our efforts finally fructified…and the calamity turned out to be a blessing for some of us…(should I say “including me???”…may be not)...

& We parted ways…

We…(two of us, me and my present roomie) packed our bags, exactly one week before the D-Day and came to peaceful place…(Yes, we finally managed to find a real good place for us to live)…& waved goodbye to remaining 6…

& We are living happily ever [since then]…  

Dirty Game…Nicely played…

Editorials that I’ve been reading lately term it as a dirty mind game…for decorating their subject matter with jugglery of words I guess…


So, Politics it is…and RAAJNEETI showed it well…following all rules (of the game).


Intermixing the stories from Mahabharata, Gandhi family’s history and the M.P. politics, Prakash Jha has successfully shown not so much about what was, but about what is, and what actually should have been…


While showing the political journey of Samar(Ranbir Kapoor), he has shown a blend of ego conflicts, clashing interests, savagely bloodshed and an intelligent guy’s moral values in an advanced state of decay…


An excellent piece of work after a very long time and absolutely mind boggling due to expected, yet dramatic series of events which unfold as the movie proceeds…


To quote a dialogue of Nana Patekar from the movie: Raajneeti mein faisale sahi ya galat nahi hote.Unka mol to bus maksad poora karne ke liye hota hai.Chahe jaise bhi ho. 

"There is no right or wrong in politics.Sometimes to make peace you have to fight a war."

The Protagonist...

On a momentous occasion

of hollow staring at the mirror,

It was an optical illusion,

or an underlying terror…

She got harder and harder

drowned into her thoughts,

Secrets eked out on face,

Alas! she’s caught…

As oblivious as always

& ostracized as a crook,

Albeit enforced soul searching,

She’s taken to the truth…

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Since I’m the master of my ideas,

and a preacher of my goals,

I’m solely accountable

for the shackles of my soul …

& since I could never find the difference,

between the rose thing and a mallow,

destiny is hitherto unresponsive

& in random thoughts I still wallow...

I’m feeble minded and I fail

In the political bargaining,

I’ve a house built on sand

& cats and dogs it’s still raining…

Though somebody is a mentor,

& though I’m part of a throng,

I’m still the one who should answer

For all that goes wrong…

& since I know I’m the cause,

Inevitably I get the crux,

I’ve nothing (no one) to blame

"Injustice of fate” or “the butchery of luck”…

P.S. Another rainy day with yet another set of weird realizations…

(A friend from Kanpur explained- We don’t use “I” in verbal communication because it symbolizes “EGO”)…

Its raining!

Accenture shuttle, window seat, Bangalore’s evening weather (RAINS…), and END OF the DAY…

Bliss…

Absolutely perfect for restarting a long (very long indeed) forgotten passion…


So here I go…this time, not with my dear diary and some pen gifted by my teacher or classmate, but with my cell phone, gifted last month, to me by myself…(A bit of pride and loads of cheers :-) )…


It’s raining heavily now…drenching every leaf…Beautiful…:-)

I so much love rains…n I’ve had a lot of it (in fact, enough of it) here in Bangalore…It’s like, it rains almost every evening…jumbling my mind with ideas…Ideas, which have been cluttering my mind since ages, but could never exactly come out in full zoom as it hardly rains in Gurgaon. Except, of course, a few downpours in July or August…as if rains also need a reservation…lolz…


So the reason why all the good and bad ideas are confronting me now is simply that: it’s raining badly n excess of anything is dangerous…rite?


Anyways…the jumbled thoughts are related to two well known ideas about rains…spread by some saint(s). One is, it rains, coz its God’s way to shower his blessing on mankind…This, I’s told by my friend’s Grandpa when I’s really small. Later on, (when I grew up a bit and) I thought about it, I found it logical also, Gods Actually shower their blessings in the form of rains as our agriculture is still so much monsoon dependent…


But then, the latest understanding of rains, (which I really doubt should be given by some saint) says: It rains so that the miserable humankind can hide its tears amidst raindrops…n really, this one also sounds somewhat logical, may not be as good (rather feel good) as the first one, but still, understandable…

And then, as I’ve said, it rains daily in Bangalore…it seems like ages since I’m witnessing this phenomenon, of daily rains, making this city watery ,reducing the visibility like anything n making me utterly confused n wondering, whether I’ll look foolish, standing all alone in rains, joining my hands in prayer to receive the blessings of dear God???... And then, I prefer an act of self denial…


And so, I’m standing in the balcony of my flat, all dry, while it’s still raining heavily outside, relishing only the cool breeze…and now I’m told, a CYCLONE is going to hit south India…as if rains were not enough to create confusionz…


P.S: I’m going to a farewell party of a friend. He’s got some project in Mumbai. He called me up yesterday and I said…”Congrats yaar, and take care... I’m told it rains harder in Mumbai…"

I, Me with Myself...

On a beautiful star studded night, I raised my face heavenwards and closed my eyes...quite,calm,cool winds which, kind of symbolize Bangalore's awesome weather were breezing through my face making me completely lost in myself... :)


And then, as is evident, as a kind of reflex action, I started thinking...about those 5 months of slumber, about my journey from Gurgaon to Bangalore...about the sudden discoveries of sooo many facts about the human-cosmos that they kind-of bombarded my small confused mind...about all good and bad things Banglore has taught me in past one month...I'm suddenly finding myself wary of what was behind me and what lay ahead...The sense of revival is exciting and yet so frightening...But bravo! its still inspiring belief...even after I flunked in first two exams at Accenture...lolz...
One month after this much awaited journey, I'm actually finding my spirits rising again from where they had been moribound for too long, may be because of too much of homesickness...and I again find myself searching for my niche here in this all-so-strange land...


With all these good thoughts, I opened my eyes, determined to keep aside all the hate I've developed for Bangalore n South India in past one month...believing that the question of belongingness( to north/south india) will soon fade away when I'll start believing in my own adroitness of believing in all beautiful things...to wherever they belong to...


P.S: Someone was expecting something on "New girl in the city" or "Life in Bangalore"???