I grew
up amid a lot of bhaai-s, first cousin bhaai-s, second cousin bhaai-s and their respective cousin bhaai-s. My mom told me that she knew roughly 50 bhaai-s I had. I myself knew some cousin in ashok vihar, someone in munirka, some other
relative in greater kailash and so on, almost in every corner of NCR.
So
basically I believed that Delhi, pardon me, NCR is MY PLACE, that I was safe
there and that there are very high chances that if a random guy ever tries to
mess with me, some random bhaai of mine will kick his ass.
For all
my bhaai-s, I was a “Good Girl”. Raksha bandhan was a shopping spree of its own
unique kind. I’d send rakshis and vermilion rice, wrote long letters to all my relatives,
telling them mostly about my studies and classmates. And it used to rain and I
used to thank God for showering his blessings on me and keeping me safe by
being there for me always in the human form of so many bhaais I had.
Childhood
is time of happy days of ignorance bliss.
But
times change, people change. And by my experience, time always, always changes
for good.
And so I came outta the safety net of my bhaai’s
protection and into the real world. Where boys were just classmates or colleagues
and not brothers, friends were just friends and not brothers, even if they said
they want to be more-than-friends, they most definitely dint mean they want to
be brothers. You could tie a friendship band on their wrists but this species
will suddenly migrate to some unknown land near mid of August. It was okay for
them to make fun of you and they dint kick anyone’s ass if they tried to make
fun of you either. If you give them a friendly punch, you receive a friendly
punch too. If you eat out, you share the bill. If you like something for
yourself when you go shopping with them, You pay the bill. You also share the
autorickshaw bill. They wont judge you if you booze with them and some will
offer to drop you home safely if its late. Its okay for them to sit at the back
seat while you ride your activa. Its okay if they have a crush on you, you can
talk about that like adults. And if they don’t, you can tell them all about the
cute guy you have a crush on. They may even step in to help you. Like many
single-in-the-city newly-made-confident girls of my time, who started believing
they could take care of themselves, I somehow liked the latter arrangement with
men better and hassle free. These men made amazing friends, much better than my
other girl friends (I know almost all the girls I know, will agree).
But I
don’t know how, I suddenly became “Not A Good Girl” for my “bhaais”. I don’t
know by what, they felt offended, as if THEY were proved weak, now that I
started taking my own decisions. I don’t know when, they decided I am not the
same sister material anymore and I have no fucking clue why, they all started
blaming me for “misusing my freedom”…
I was
confused, they were so proud whenever I managed to get “highest marks” even in
class tests, now they were blaming it all on my education. They taught me how
to ride a bicycle and now they hated me for owning a vehicle of my own coz that
made it convenient for me to go “anywhere anytime”. A banker cousin of mine
suggested that I should take a flight to home twice a month coz “girls just do
their jobs for fun and my future husband can worry about savings”. They
mesmerized my imaginations by telling me endless stories of their tours across
the world, but to cover 15 mins distance between Delhi Airport and home, their
egos will get hurt if I took a taxi and come by myself. I can tell them my
wishlist on the things I want to do in MY life, but a male member (elder or
younger, doesn’t matter) should have the final say.
…
In
parallel universe, some lucky sisters were blessed with brothers, custom made more
suitable for our times, called bros. Big bros and small bros. Bros, who
were their partners in crime.
Big
bros were protective by default but refrained from checking their messages,
whatsapp and facebook accounts. They tried to understand their sister’s outlook,
gave their suggestions when required, but respected her decision anyway. With
their maturity, they acted as a bridge to fill the generation gap between her
and the parents and made sure she faced less of the teenage hardships he faced
while dealing with the parents. But they made sure the little sister also fights
her own unique battle and learn by her own mistakes. And when she came out a
winner, they gave their cheerful hi-5 and said, “You Go Girl!”…
And
there were small bros, who basically minded their own business. They never tried
to interfere in the sisters life and pretend to be protective for her just coz
they were “the man”. They were affectionate and occasionally asked for extra
pocket money. They truly believed that since, the sister is elder and is more
experienced, she will protect them from a situation if need be and not the
other way round. They believed in her capabilities and respected
her decisions. They treated her exactly the way they wud have treated
an elder bro and were not swayed by anyone who told them that they are the
“ghar ka ladka".
...
...
...
For a
lucky few, if you had a real bro, your life must have been super easy and you would
have never had to explain yourself to anyone. To all such lucky girls and their
bros, Happy Rakshabandhan . You guys are blessed to enjoy this festival in its
true spirit.
For
not-so-lucky others, Gals, you have come a long way. Trust me, even people who don’t
approve of you, secretly wish they had the guts to be like you. So always wear
your attitude, love your lovely self and rock the world like you’ve always had.
And finally
to all the "bhaai’s" , Guys! life is what happens AFTER you are out of your
make-believe world of fake dominance. I hope that happens for you soon…Cheers!!!
