Showing posts with label suchIsLife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suchIsLife. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Pouring Over...


Times when it pours over…

flooding emotions sometimes…

drizzling just a flicker of a thought…

Slanted thick annoying drops,
forcefully enter your home,
from inside an open window,
right into your life,
without consent…

Condensed cubes,
beating you up savagely,
for unknowingly loving
transparent waters at the 1st place,
trusting innocently
all the different skins
it can slip under…

or just those arrow straight
pinching piercing realizations…


P.S. Some ages are counted not by springs, but by raindrops-being-drenched-under…
P.P.S. I am probably more than a hundred years old…

Friday, March 17, 2017

Bong Colors...


“You are religiously and legally mine” … And the rainbow vibes of change gets spluttered all aroundthat sensation of transition, those beautiful fluttering butterflies in stomach, that numbness when you have a zillion thoughts and don’t know which one to single out and concentrate on…

The sounds of hulhuli is accompanied by blowing of shankh(conch shell) warding off evil spirits, signaling for the beginning of a new season, its growing red shoots marked with passion. Colorful thermocol tattwas are being decorated with that enormous fish embellished with gold ring, seasonal fruits and ever-so-deliciously-famous bengali sweets. The heavy toys like sacred tattvas are being carried off downstairs in festive spirit by family and friends with childlike excitement. Visibly uncomfortable with all this noise and confusion, and more so for being dressed in a 3 piece - "towel, vest and Dhuti", the groom stands in a corner and acts responsible by sending off the gifts just in time for his bride's Gaye Holud





Months of courtship stand in between like a beautiful journey.  A wish that was granted, a dream that came trueHe could not ask for moreThat “perspective match”, “friend”, “best friend”, “guide”, “special someone”, “fiancee” now ready to become “lifeHe wonders how meanings change over timeOnce “aunty” is becoming “Mom”, once “uncle” wants to be called “Dad”...everybody wants to know how he feels but words are failingpeople assume he might just be too happy to say anything, but that happiness is not able to sort itself into what to tell whom…

So there are more than 256-value palette (2^8 = 256) colors possible. And that my friend, you only know when you look at all these vibrant saaris. Who knew he was remotely capable of noticing these details! 5 hours of patience to get the ladies of the house all dressed and ready to go, and while struggling through Kolkata's narrow streets, we proceed... Or as they call it, The Bor Jatri...

There have been transitions, from prep to school, to college, to a new city, to a new job, new people, new countriesbut this one is HUGEThough he knew this from like years… he fantasized in like a thousand dreamsThe plan was ready, all setBut still it feels like time has run extremely fast, that he is only a kid, mom scolding while he adamantly keeps playing cricket out in the scorching sun… how can this happen so fast…

Bliz, Glitters, Shimmers and flashes. Stars wont illuminate the night sky today, reflections from this wedding lights decorations will. Seated at the Chadnatolla, waiting for a glimpse of her...Dude! this anxiousness will be captured on Camera!... And this struggle to act levelheaded will also be captured in pictures, recorded in videos and whispered in hearsay...
Lo and Behold, here she comes, beautiful as if descended directly from heavens, how would he ever manage to concentrate on anything else but her... 

Two pairs of beautiful eyes go blank and their reflection in the camera lenses inform everyone clearly that sleep won’t come to them for many many days to comeThe water-proof makeup sustaining in spite the heat of Kolkata feels like the most awaited touchThe swing on the stage welcomes them to sway between the past and the future, between old and the new relationships, between apprehensions and anticipations…





Is this tradition of Saat Paak influenced by Sun and Earth or Earth and Moon? I wonder. 
In any case, its for ever and ever, and so we bless this love, association and holy matrimony to be... Witnessing Mala Badal and the final emotional ceremony of Sindoor Daan, we say goodbyes and commence our journey back to Bengaluru...


Like me, they keep pondering over thoughts and questions, only to conclude that this was destined to happenfor best...And then again, they try not to drown into the future written in depths of their eyes, but in the sounds of hulhuli, fragrance of love, and clicks of cameras all around…








Thursday, February 2, 2017

Aloof... & (but?) Blessed...

Its not in stars to hold my destiny.
Its not in me to tell yours..
I forgo all if s and buts…
I forgo all worldly pleasures…

None of that matters…

Coz no, I’m not lucky… I believe, I am BLESSED…

Perspective...

She decided to protect the future from stagnant things...
Things which appeared to move in opposite direction…

So what if it was she, who moved on…
So what if she would be blamed for having the wrong perspective…

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Under Construction



Nothing but life,
No One but us,

Somethings but love,
Somewhere but here,
Sometime but then, 

In whirlpools of CHANGE,

Life and Relations,
Resolves and Resolutions,
Strategies and Plans,
confusions and uncertainties,
YOU and ME

UNDER CONSTRUCTION...

P.S.
Building a home not house...of dreams and hopes...Friends Welcome...

P.P.S
Coz Time is the biggest future teller.


Thursday, April 14, 2016

Betrayal

Turning around...it's all yellow
The lush green lawn...
Just yesterday needed mowing...
Waves crashed over dreams...
Just yesterday, sun shone so bright...
With Icy cold silences
A walk hand in hand
Unapologetic
Cruel destiny
The only truth that sticks...
Destiny....
And we manage to dance
To the tunes of life's
Oh not so melodious
Songs of despair. ..
And when has life
Not betrayed...
those who believe...

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Dancing to the tunes…



 An Invention of Life,
In the memories of living,
Haunts the fears forever
And we still dance to the tunes…

Shadowy and vague,
Tomorrows untold,
Slips like handful of sand
And we still dance to the tunes…

In a city without walls
In a lake of unknown depths
Stuck Deep in a dark forest
And we still dance to the tunes…


No flowers on grave,
All sent on his b’days,
Fragrances persevered
And we are dancing to the tunes….

What he meant to us
Flowing in tears,
Memories, musics and joys,
And we are dancing to the tunes….  





Friday, August 21, 2015

Bhaai, Bros And The Bandhan of promising Raksha…

I grew up amid a lot of bhaai-s, first cousin bhaai-s, second cousin bhaai-s and their respective cousin bhaai-s. My mom told me that she knew roughly 50 bhaai-s I had. I myself knew some cousin in ashok vihar, someone in munirka, some other relative in greater kailash and so on, almost in every corner of NCR.
So basically I believed that Delhi, pardon me, NCR is MY PLACE, that I was safe there and that there are very high chances that if a random guy ever tries to mess with me, some random bhaai of mine will kick his ass.

For all my bhaai-s, I was a “Good Girl”. Raksha bandhan was a shopping spree of its own unique kind. I’d send rakshis and vermilion rice, wrote long letters to all my relatives, telling them mostly about my studies and classmates. And it used to rain and I used to thank God for showering his blessings on me and keeping me safe by being there for me always in the human form of so many bhaais I had.
Childhood is time of happy days of ignorance bliss.

But times change, people change. And by my experience, time always, always changes for good.

 And so I came outta the safety net of my bhaai’s protection and into the real world. Where boys were just classmates or colleagues and not brothers, friends were just friends and not brothers, even if they said they want to be more-than-friends, they most definitely dint mean they want to be brothers. You could tie a friendship band on their wrists but this species will suddenly migrate to some unknown land near mid of August. It was okay for them to make fun of you and they dint kick anyone’s ass if they tried to make fun of you either. If you give them a friendly punch, you receive a friendly punch too. If you eat out, you share the bill. If you like something for yourself when you go shopping with them, You pay the bill. You also share the autorickshaw bill. They wont judge you if you booze with them and some will offer to drop you home safely if its late. Its okay for them to sit at the back seat while you ride your activa. Its okay if they have a crush on you, you can talk about that like adults. And if they don’t, you can tell them all about the cute guy you have a crush on. They may even step in to help you. Like many single-in-the-city newly-made-confident girls of my time, who started believing they could take care of themselves, I somehow liked the latter arrangement with men better and hassle free. These men made amazing friends, much better than my other girl friends (I know almost all the girls I know, will agree).

But I don’t know how, I suddenly became “Not A Good Girl” for my “bhaais”. I don’t know by what, they felt offended, as if THEY were proved weak, now that I started taking my own decisions. I don’t know when, they decided I am not the same sister material anymore and I have no fucking clue why, they all started blaming me for “misusing my freedom”…
I was confused, they were so proud whenever I managed to get “highest marks” even in class tests, now they were blaming it all on my education. They taught me how to ride a bicycle and now they hated me for owning a vehicle of my own coz that made it convenient for me to go “anywhere anytime”. A banker cousin of mine suggested that I should take a flight to home twice a month coz “girls just do their jobs for fun and my future husband can worry about savings”. They mesmerized my imaginations by telling me endless stories of their tours across the world, but to cover 15 mins distance between Delhi Airport and home, their egos will get hurt if I took a taxi and come by myself. I can tell them my wishlist on the things I want to do in MY life, but a male member (elder or younger, doesn’t matter) should have the final say.


In parallel universe, some lucky sisters were blessed with brothers, custom made more suitable for our times, called bros. Big bros and small bros. Bros, who were their partners in crime.
Big bros were protective by default but refrained from checking their messages, whatsapp and facebook accounts. They tried to understand their sister’s outlook, gave their suggestions when required, but respected her decision anyway. With their maturity, they acted as a bridge to fill the generation gap between her and the parents and made sure she faced less of the teenage hardships he faced while dealing with the parents. But they made sure the little sister also fights her own unique battle and learn by her own mistakes. And when she came out a winner, they gave their cheerful hi-5 and said, “You Go Girl!”…
And there were small bros, who basically minded their own business. They never tried to interfere in the sisters life and pretend to be protective for her just coz they were “the man”. They were affectionate and occasionally asked for extra pocket money. They truly believed that since, the sister is elder and is more experienced, she will protect them from a situation if need be and not the other way round. They believed in her capabilities and respected her decisions. They treated her exactly the way they wud have treated an elder bro and were not swayed by anyone who told them that they are the “ghar ka ladka".

...
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For a lucky few, if you had a real bro, your life must have been super easy and you would have never had to explain yourself to anyone. To all such lucky girls and their bros, Happy Rakshabandhan . You guys are blessed to enjoy this festival in its true spirit.  

For not-so-lucky others, Gals, you have come a long way. Trust me, even people who don’t approve of you, secretly wish they had the guts to be like you. So always wear your attitude, love your lovely self and rock the world like you’ve always had.


And finally to all the "bhaai’s" , Guys! life is what happens AFTER you are out of your make-believe world of fake dominance. I hope that happens for you soon…Cheers!!!



Thursday, August 2, 2012

Adieu Silliness... ;)


Searching and yearning...
M lost again in you…
Circumstances concerning…
What went off??? No Clue…


Probing and cursing
U instruct? You’re who?
Anxieties keep churning
Your mood swings turn blue…


Your conceit, my learning
On love still, cling to…
Wounds open, free burning
On that, dreams,  I brew…


Times happy so, back turning
Love n sweethearts anew
Anger heat so…scorching
It’s a lonely walk through….


Kiddo selves-ly returning
Trying n saving, fall through…
My judgments adjourning
M bidding adieu...


P.S. Badly Badly missing... Some parts of me...