Psychosis…

 

You are sensitive!

You are dumb!

Self Obsessed!

m Numb…

You Command

Confuse...

You Mystify…

I (helplessly) succumb…

You come across

get creased

I crumple

so  glum

I wake up

with start

Weird reverie

Kept mum...

Moronic  laughter’s

Smiles sometimes…

Strange melodies

I hum…

At a loose end

m lost

From wrecked Horizons

You come…

I try to cherish

solace
Trouble, your being

become…

A Wavy Affair...

Another swarm of waves…

These ones, somewhat grimy…

Some madness recalled,

Bamboozled and Stymie…

Excusing myself,

Inhaling that charm...

Woozy … just right

No, waves do no harm…

Swept or revived,

Visions and poises…

Just legacy of valor,

No doldrums, No crisis…

Guts of endurance,

All splattered across...

Reckoning my instincts,

That shimmer and gloss...

With hushed drops of wisdom,

A kid so grown witty...

Sprinkled and savored,

First Look Of That City...

P.S. Some cities don’t just live…they celebrate Life :)

Visibility…Less than 50 mtrs…

December Delhi Winter it was…that’s the only clarity I have of that day…

Papa was driving quietly, trying to find our way to Terminal 1D, while I’s answering mummy’s repeated calls to drive safe in those unprecedented dense fogs which break some 70 years record every year…we couldn’t see our own bonnet…There was no time to scold me for not taking into consideration Delhi fogs while booking the tickets…because, for one, I’s leaving and more importantly, Papa had to devout all his attention to drive safely…In spite of my Dad being famous for his knowledge of every patch of Delhi, we lost our way twice… Cursing the famous on-time-service of Indigo, we reached just in time and I hurriedly waved goodbyes to Papa n Bhai…Dunno how, they still announced, with visibility less than 50 mtrs, the 8:55 flight was on time...

. . .
. . .
. . .

Lazy Sunday this is…I try to look all around me…all settled, cleaned and on place…then I tried to look back…eh, so boring…n I’ve done this a million times…so I thought of looking ahead of time…WHAT! Afraid of going mad with inactivity, I just picked some old magazines n began to read...

In crux, it was nothing but a jumble of petulant politicians stating confused statements to defy random corruption charges of some multi millions…Some pictures in bright glossy close up…Mr Chidambaram’s picture occupying the TODAY part of India Today, in deep thoughts…Same magazine’s March cover showing drift between Mr Chidambaram and Mr Pranab Mukherjee…Manmohan Singh Ji’s grave manner, trying to give an unconvincing clean chit to himself, pictures depicting high coalition drama, former former former telecom secretary, governors and other experts statements…subtle uncertainties…And then state news…Illegal Iron ore loot in Goa, series of communal riots in Rajasthan, NC loosing it completely in Kashmir and Telangana statehood demands...Moving on to next section…The opposition…where some hope of actual leadership was rekindling post Sadbhavana Sabha, torn again between inflated egos of mighty egoistic potential leaders who can’t see each other eye to eye…One not attending others rallies n inauguration parties…lost again in in-house battles…hybrids of hubris…bête noire zzz… Sigh!!!

I closed my eyes and again the same stupid thought of looking ahead started wandering all around me…not just related to my own boredom, it was less selfish this time…

With closed eyes, I dreamt that Delhi is engrossed into most dense fogs of the millennium…uncertainty, confusion everywhere…Autocrats running around, confused, on Delhi roads, streets they’ve known all their lives, making a mockery of democracy…Rest of the world moving ahead with their on-time-service…and all of us, whole country…running breathlessly to catch up…Where? Which way? We are losing the sense of direction…Visibility is less than 50 mtrs… 

Summoned up…

Times when it becomes kinda obligatory for you to think that thoughtlessness is bliss and all those who’ve always been telling you smooth-roads-never-make-good-drivers are all fools… And then these rains, which fall outta heavens so straight and swift, directly on your head while you are thinking of a careless cup of hot coffee mixed with some cure of the sneezing cold...

So, the RAINS play some linkin park music on your head, wet your hair in dead cold and immediately reach those wayward nerves in your brain responsible for some weird neural activity which defies the soothing effect of normalized-day-to-day LIFE...act as catalyst to your already strained up mind… and then with those falling drops of greasy slimy age, you think you can feel the wetness of question marks all around you...drenching your very soul...

But then…in midst of all the confusion, the LOGICAL YOU rises up for all the answers and you begin to realize the complementary stuff rains bring with them… you suddenly start relishing the winds...mighty winds...That can blow away the rain clouds in whatever direction they fancy…mighty winds...that can twist and roll the direction of rains…super mighty winds, that can ultimately make you feel better about your wet hair, sweeping them nicely across…

You feel the breeze and drive faster and realize... the faster you go, more swiftly you pass and prevail the hateful traffic jam of neural traumatizations in midst of unhealthy rains…and faster you drive, the more you realize its making you learn driving better… and self control with increased proficiency……now you know there may come rains, however stormy, turbulent and seemingly unsettleable …nothing to worry, you’ve learned to drive safe and chances of a slip are odd... you finally start enjoying the music of the wind rather than the crashes of the lightening and the thunderstorm...

And then, you leave aside all the anxiety and drive faster to reach the balcony breeze, while you sit there all dry, with hot coffee and the blissful peace...warming your soul off the odd effects of rains…

The Song of the Wind…

Initially I thought, its going to be a poem…but its not…and definitely not a microblog or simply a twitter update…nah…its somewhere in between I guess…and in the title, I specifically mean SONG and not melody…A song has the liberty of having many moods to it…while a melody has to be sweet, always (or atleast that how I think it is)…

So, this particular song, over the last weekend was almost certainly melodious to begin with…atleast till the time it was playing on my lips, while I’s flying with my Activa on (almost over and above) Pune roads…reaching every corner, from temples to markets to street vendors of cute junk jewelry  to coffee shops…

Three days of overtly shown and proved liberation they were…that feeling new and fresh…

But then, when has complex minds as human beings, accepted and approved of something as simple as “feel-good is equivalent to happiness”? Every such statement comes with clauses…some hidden, some obviously obvious and some which lead to painful implication to tenses, especially future…We just don’t approve of anything just like that…We have an eerie ability to question everything…let alone those explanations to the rest of the world, your own self stands beside you and starts questioning…and irritating as they may be, but the questions are generally fair and logical…and if you are not in a habit of living in illusions, you find it very difficult to answer them all…

So this time the questions were on very existence, the kinds which hurt the most…So, this is how you think how simple things can be? You, your self, your Activa, your songs, and empty roads and you driving that fast and free and safe too?  Whatta foolish immature thought!

And then those suggestions… Come outta it dear…from the post dusk darkness to the dawning truth…oh the timeline hurts! It may come sooner than you think…when the feel good about yourself disappears, don’t make it the habit that hurts…Dont let a pebble stir the stagnant waters and create waves…generalize things…move slowly with the rest of the world…with publicly accepted terms of living…and then…get going!

I’ve no answers except for one…about the stagnant waters…

If you throw a pebble in stagnant waters, it’ll create waves no doubt…But what if the water is flowing so fast that it doesn’t mind even rolling stones?   

(acting on) Impulse...

Chaos, High Drama,

a bevy of thought,

Odd moments of terror,

barren chambers to rot...

Moments of silence,

moments of screaming,

that moment of trial,

and boiling blood teeming...

Imprudent and stupid,

"Gone Crazy" they thought,

hitherto uncared for,

lone battle was fought...

Illusions and Figments,

probation was feared,

For frolic and disport,

friendships were geared...

Whats learnt is so precious,

from those forlorn battles,

Happy I did it,

acting on that impulse...

P.S. Friends...I love you all really...But, couldn't help this one... :(

Celebrated Delusions…

“Do not use mobile phones at this instance, keep your seatbelts fastened, don’t smoke blah blah blah and be seated”. The aircraft was about to take off. Cabin crew was preparing for take-off. I’s seated on 1F (THE window seat :) ) and both 1E and 1D were left unoccupied still. And then he entered… him, a white kurta-pajama clad man in his sixties…kind of people we’ve learned to hate these days…talking loudly over his blackberry..."thik hai, is Vishay me adhyaksh se baithak karke he antim nirnay liya jaega" and then he switched his phone off…I continued reading my novel while he dozed off…And then that neurotic neural activity got kick started in my mind… which is continuing in midst of crowd chanting slogans and in episodes, with each passing day of Anna Hazare’s fast…

In the quicksand of events all around me in NCR and all over India, all those concepts of democratic republic have sucked down, down into incomprehensible puzzlement …
 

Anna is INDIA…Anna is GANDHI…Anna is ANDHI…Anna, we are with you…

He is a neutron bomb…he really is…producing more neutrons…triggering a chain reaction…encroaching and invading the supreme symbol of sovereignty… THE Parliament… whose so called representatives have given away its public image as of no more than a mere symbol of subjugation after the great leaders arrest… demoing overtly the right part of Fundamental Rights…asking for an espousal of our own true freedom in the real sense of it…people are becoming a fan of his genuineness …getting inspired by his passion…have started believing in the very idea of emancipation...and after his eventual win…everyone is delighted, celebrating…it’s time to party…All Smiles… :)

Only thing is...What’s important? The End??? or the Means??? We won…yes…but watching the proceedings on Lok Sabha channel, listening to the speeches made by all party leaders, I think we could all clearly hear the unsaid portions of their opinion on the bill…"So now anybody can warn THE Parliament of fasting till death and we’ll HAVE TO pass any random bill, that too differentiated across multiple draft versions, in a jiffy, just like that??? Ridiculous…But still I and my party will support the bill with all three conditions laid by Mr. Hazare. Period. We are left with no other option anyways. Period. Please now plan some disaster-aftereffects-management strategy."

Its pending with the standing committee anyways and another drama is yet to be witnessed on Rajya Sabha channel also...

We still don’t know whether the bill will be finally passed in the same draft as suggested by Anna and even if it will, how well Anti corruption legislation can work in a country suffering from corruption for as long as 64 years…But it’s a clear win and we ARE all celebrating and we should and we wish Anna a good recovery and a healthy long life ahead…

Only thing is, we never thought we’ll have to fight another war of independence, that somebody will have to suffer like Gandhi Ji again, students will have to return degrees again and we’ll have to stuff jails again in protest of those WE ELECT, every five years… Kiran Bedi is right, Anna has become India, we are happy about it…but we thought India is a democratic country where legislature is made by representatives elected by people, so in effect, by people themselves…or atleast that’s what we still teach our kids in schools…